i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Liz is crying about burritos again.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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