Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
