GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
