I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
