i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
