its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
