Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
