the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
