fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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