Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize