Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
