So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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