I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
