one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize