Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
