My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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