he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize