Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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