My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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