she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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