i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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