so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
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I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
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I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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