I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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