no, he came in my armpit
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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