I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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