dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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