Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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