what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
