then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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