he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.