I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.