You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
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there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
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$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses