Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.