Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died