if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams