Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.