He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.