I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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