Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
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Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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