suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
