Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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