just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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