You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
