His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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