Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Randomize
