This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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