worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
