I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
