It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
