OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO