that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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