Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
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Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today