If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going