that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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