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• (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"

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• (432): View more from Texas

  I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night

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