she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
