when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
