dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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