Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
