I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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