I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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