At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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