Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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