I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
