addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize