Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
