toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
