Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Found the puke drawer
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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