i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
