The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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