why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
