My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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