LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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