Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
