yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
